I found many mothers to bond with, those I call my fellow heart moms, sisters, friends, family. We love eachothers kids as much as our own and we are connected on a level that no one else in the world is because we know the dark secrets that hide away in our minds, those thoughts to scary to share with the world. Those memories that others would never be able to fathom except for the fraction they feel from a picture of our kids hooked to the dozens of machines to keep them alive.
We become attached to these woman, and especially their heart kids. We check up on them, worry about them, love them. I am reminded daily of the lil ones who were before my son, those who were sent out to battle, but didn't come back. I follow many families online, but some are closer to my heart than others. And tomorrow marks a day to remember a little one who I never had the chance to meet.
Lil Connor Wilson passed 8/30/2012. Just a couple of weeks before my Waylon was born. He was at the same hospital Waylon was born at and cared for for the first 3 months of his life.
I had the pleasure of meeting his wonderful parents after choreographing a story with CNN about our previous hospital (where connor passed, and waylon was cared for the first 3 months of his life). I hated the circumstances. I hated that ourselves and another family had to stand in front of these grieving parents with our children, still alive and doing seemingly well. My heart ached for this family, we came close so many times to losing our Waylon, but here we stood with our fighter. Wondering why one child was sparred and another was taken.
This strong woman standing before me I did not pity, my heart ached for her but there was not pity. I seen her grief, but I also seen with in her a light that her Connor had given her with his short life.
I seen a mother much like myself still fighting for her child. And what a beautiful child he was.
I see my son in the pictures of connor, the happiness his family brought him.
And the love that his family had for him.
I never got to meet this warrior, but I care for his family much more than they could
I am amazed at the strength this momma has and admire her fight for him still to this day, when others were to scared to stand up with me she gladly ran to the calling.
So even though these lil ones are gone, they are never, and WILL never be forgotten!!
Their families have graciously shared their lives, no matter what the length of it was, with the world.
Since my sons diagnosis I often wondered what would happen to me, how will I make it through this, will I make it through. It's a common question for any parent who is given this news. I hate that so many parents have to continue on with their lives without their babies
and unfortunately it is a sad reality that we could face.
But we hold tight, stay as strong as we an and push forward. We uplift those we have befriended and grown to love when they lose their child, and then we hold our children a little closer because it hits so close to home and we are blessed to have another day, hour, minute with our warriors.
Please think of this wonderful family as you embark on your weekend. Think of sweet connor and enjoy his beautiful pictures (all given with permission of his lovely momma).
Fly high handsome one!
And know that so many people are missing and loving you on this day, even those of us who didn't get the pleasure to meet you.
To his family: thank you for sharing the life and fight of your warrior with us, thank you for continuing to fight in his honor. And for just carrying on!!
From one heart family to another, you will always have someone to turn to!