Saturday, June 15, 2013

Fathers day!!!

I havent posted in a while, been trying to figure out how to write down this whole journey and keep everyone updated. But with fathers day being tomorrow I felt a strong need! 

I want to shout to the world how awesome my husband is! Yes, he can sometimes be a butt hole, but what man can't be and I wouldnt have him any other way. He keeps me young (I know Im only 24, but intelligently aged above my years). 

Through this whole journey everyone remarks just how strong us heart mommas are, how we have to deal with so much and keep it together. But they quickly forget about daddy. I guess it's because mommy carried baby, birthed baby, etc etc. Their lives have been flipped upside down just as much as the momma, heck the whole family has, but people fail to realize the thoughts that dance through daddies mind also. 

You see momma has the job of carrying baby, all while knowing (in our case anyways) that something is wrong with their unborn. Daddy has to keep mommy healthy, making sure that she doesnt forget to eat with all of the everyday tasks of taking care of the other kids, keeping the house cleaned,cooking etc. 

They don't think about how it affects daddy, how he too has sleepless nights, heartache, depressed moods, all while holding down his full time job to keep the family afloat and surviving. My husband has always been my shoulder and my extra backbone, but when we found out about Waylon he also became a defender for me. Pushing away and standing up to anyone who may say something hurtful during my pregnancy to keep me from getting to worked up because we had enough to deal with. 

When Waylon and I had to be life flighted out of state to Michigan to keep him alive people thought how awful it must have been for me to be away from my family, my other two babies, husband, and anything I knew to be familiar. All the while my husband worked his job to keep the bills paid in our lil home so that we would ALL have a place to come back to when we finally got discharged. Bills still needed paid, other kids still needed taken care of and shown love. 

Just because life seemed to go on pretty normally (all except for mommy being there), my husband had the everyday thoughts of "what if something happens today", "would I make it there in time to see my baby boy before he passed". He had to deal with the day to day normalcy without me there too, all while wondering if he would ever see or hold his baby boy again because we were so far away and things could turn from perfect and ready to go home to..... well you get the picture. 

It has been hard on both sides, both of us had to deal with so much while being torn apart and dealing with the unknown. But we dealt amazingly. Our relationship has been stregthened because we both have put in the time and leaned on eachother without question, and BOTH of us were there to catch the other. 

I have seen my husband at his weakest and most vulnerable moments EVER through this, but I have also seen him at his strongest. Seeing him with our kids makes me love him more with each passing day. The love he pours into them is priceless. My husband has overcame so many things in his life, including a hard childhood, but he didnt let it tear him down, he used those hardships to mold himself into a respectable family man. I see his devotion to our three beautiful children and myself everyday, and I wouldnt ask for any one else in the world  to walk this journey alongside. 

To my wonderful husband; thank you for all that you do for our family. Thank you for working even when I know you are so sick you can barely stand sometimes. Thank you for loving me, and loving our 3 beautiful children. Thanks for choosing me and always staying so faithful, even when I drive you mad. I admire your strength, your cockiness, your intelligence (even when they bug the crap out of me at times). Thanks for being my shoulder through all of this and standing beside me. 

Enjoy some photos of Lucas, my loving husband, with our kiddos throughout the years.